I have wicked stepchildren. There – I really said it. And my husband’s ex-wife is truly a you-know-what – but that will be a later posting – the story is too long for one. I need to get this out of my system – and am frankly sick and tired of being the wicked stepmother for no reason. I understand change and divorce are hard at any age – been there, done that – as a child and as an adult. The reaction of my husband’s children to our marriage has devastated my husband, and has been slowly destroying me. I figure if I get it out, maybe I will feel better and we can move on with our lives. I certainly can’t get it out to them. A few background facts:
All of my stepsons were grown when I married their father (mid-twenties or older and out of the house).
Two were already married – the last is now married.
I have four step-grandchildren - only one of whom I or my husband has ever seen in person.
I’ve seen two of my stepchildren in person twice - total.
Only one son showed up where we live when their father had a heart attack and was in cardiac intensive care (which I very much appreciated).
Only one son (a different one) has made any kind of effort to communicate with me. We have an on-again/mostly-off-again emailing relationship because his wife hates me.
One son has never spoken to me at all, nor has his wife. They hate me in abstentia as well.
At this point, I don’t care if they want a relationship with me. Would it be nice – of course. Will I die if I don’t – certainly not. I have plenty of devoted family and friends. I am mainly emotionally drained by seeing what their behavior does to my husband.
They don’t call their father on holidays, Father’s Day, or birthdays. They text. Yes, I said TEXT – and sporadically at that. Not even a card. I’ve had to console him sobbing several times because his children are so unfeeling and uncaring. Last year I had absolutely had it and sent them an email telling them they were acting like literal children, their father was inconsolable, and I was worried about his health in relation to him always breaking down (i.e. heart attack). I was harsh – and I was mad. I told them to step up and act like adults. I even told them I didn’t care what they felt about me, but that they were slowly killing their father. The response I received, from one of their WIVES no less, who has never MET me, verbally berated me for saying something in the first place, saying he had suddenly “abandoned” all of them, and this was all his fault. Her husband even said his father had just RUINED their wedding…
Side note – I find this particularly amusing as my husband purposefully decided to not to end his marriage until after the wedding was over so it wouldn’t disrupt his son’s marriage. Can you say narcissist?
Before anyone (ha ha) wonders – I am not a second “trophy” wife. I am a middle-aged mom. My husband and I are two years apart in age. We were not “dating” each other when he left his ex-wife. He left because he had been miserable for years, successfully hid it, and he felt he had “done right” by his children.
I suppose you would understand more if you knew the rest of the story…stay tuned. The ex-wife makes the wicked queen look like the fairy godmother.
Wow – do I feel better or what? :)
